At first, it can feel like you’ve met the person you’ve been waiting for your entire life.
They text you constantly.
They tell you you’re their soulmate.
They shower you with compliments, gifts, attention, and promises about the future.
They want every minute of your time.
To someone who has been lonely, hurting, or searching for acceptance, it can feel like a dream come true.
But sometimes it isn’t love.
Sometimes it’s love bombing.
Love bombing is the act of overwhelming someone with affection, attention, gifts, and emotional intensity to quickly gain their trust and dependence. It isn’t done to build a healthy relationship. It’s done to create emotional control.
Healthy love grows.
Love bombing rushes.
Healthy love respects boundaries.
Love bombing ignores them.
Healthy love gives you room to remain yourself.
Love bombing often makes you feel guilty for wanting space.
The hardest part is that the person doing the love bombing may truly seem genuine in the beginning. That’s why so many survivors blame themselves later.
You weren’t foolish.
You responded to what looked like kindness.
Once the emotional attachment is formed, the relationship often begins to change.
The compliments become criticism.
The constant attention becomes constant monitoring.
The gifts become obligations.
The promises become disappointment.
The affection becomes control.
Suddenly you’re trying to get back to the person you met in the beginning, not realizing that version of them may have only existed to gain your trust.
Love should never require you to abandon your boundaries.
Love should never make you feel guilty for having friends, family, hobbies, or your own opinions.
Love should never leave you constantly wondering what you did wrong.
As survivors, it is important to remember that God has already shown us what genuine love looks like.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, we are reminded:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Love bombing may look like love for a season, but biblical love stands the test of time. It is patient. It is kind. It does not manipulate, control, or demand. It respects, protects, and builds up rather than tears down.
If someone claims to love you but uses that love to isolate you, manipulate your emotions, or control your life, that isn’t the kind of love God intended for you.
At Riders Against Domestic Violence (RADV), we believe every survivor deserves to experience love that reflects compassion, respect, and freedom—not fear.
Don’t measure love by how loudly someone declares it.
Measure love by how faithfully they live it.
Riders Against Domestic Violence (RADV)
We Are the Bridge
https://radv.org