By Dave Beatty, Founder, Riders Against Domestic Violence
October 10 brings us to day ten of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Today, let’s make room for the person who is still wondering whether what they have lived through is serious enough to ask for help.
The person who says, “Other people have it worse.”
The person who starts to explain, then stops because they are afraid someone will question every detail.
The person who has learned to minimize their own pain just to get through another day.
If that is you, hear this: You do not have to prove your pain to deserve compassion.
Your story does not have to look like someone else’s
You may still care about the person who hurt you. You may remember good days. You may be working, smiling in photographs, and keeping things together while carrying something you have not told anyone.
None of those things makes your pain unimportant.
You do not need to compare your experience with another survivor’s story before reaching out. You do not need a perfect explanation. You can begin with the words you have, even if those words are simply, “Something is wrong, and I need someone to listen.”
Asking for support is not a promise to make every decision today. It can be a first conversation, a question, or a chance to learn what help may be available.
Listen without turning the conversation into a trial
For those of us who want to help, our response matters.
“Why didn’t you leave?” can close a door someone worked hard to open. “Are you sure?” can leave them feeling they must defend their experience before they can receive kindness.
We can begin somewhere better:
“Thank you for telling me.”
“You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”
“What would feel helpful to you right now?”
Let them choose how much to share. Respect their privacy. Before calling or sending information, ask whether that is a safe way to contact them. Offer help without making your support depend on a decision you want them to make.
You can listen with care while recognizing that a trained advocate may be better equipped to help someone explore their situation and options.
There is room for you on the bridge
At Riders Against Domestic Violence, our mission is to help connect survivors with resources. We are a referral bridge. Survivors contact the help centers and services directly to discuss their needs and available support.
If you are ready to explore resources, visit RADV.org. Use the resource links to look for domestic violence help centers in your area, including searches by ZIP code.
You do not have to tell your story publicly to take that step. You do not owe social media an explanation. Your healing does not have to become a public announcement.
Today’s action: Make support easier to ask for
On day ten, let’s look at the words we use when someone is hurting. Are we offering a place to speak, or asking them to convince us first?
Share a resource. Listen with patience. Let someone know they can ask for help before they have all the answers.
And if you are the person carrying that pain, there is no competition you must win to matter. You deserve to be heard. You deserve respect. You deserve the opportunity to find support.
You survived. You matter. Keep going. One mile at a time.
We Are the Bridge.
Dave Beatty
Founder, Riders Against Domestic Violence
RADV.org
© 2026 Riders Against Domestic Violence (RADV)