By Dave Beatty, Founder of Riders Against Domestic Violence
A purple ribbon can start a conversation. What happens after that conversation begins matters.
On day three of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let’s think about the person who is trying to decide whether it is safe to speak.
They may have typed a message and erased it. They may have said, “Things have been rough at home,” hoping someone would listen a little closer. They may have carried their story for years, unsure whether they would be believed.
Today’s call to action is simple: Be someone safe to tell.
Listen without putting them on trial
When someone tells you they are experiencing abuse, they do not need to prove their pain to deserve your compassion.
You can begin with:
- “I believe you.”
- “You do not deserve to be treated this way.”
- “Thank you for trusting me.”
- “What would help you right now?”
Give them room to speak. They may not be ready to share every detail. Let them decide how much to tell you.
Respect the decisions that belong to them
It can be hard to hear that someone you care about is being hurt. You may want to fix everything immediately.
But support begins with listening and respecting their choices. Leaving is a personal decision, and survivors need people they can trust as they consider their options.
Instead of asking, “Why haven’t you left?” try asking, “How can I support you?”
Instead of setting a deadline, offer to help them connect with a trained domestic violence advocate who can discuss their circumstances and options.
Your role is to stand beside them as they find their next safe step.
Keep their story in their hands
Awareness does not require exposing someone else’s pain.
Ask before sharing their story, photograph, location, or messages. A survivor’s disclosure is not permission to turn their experience into a public post.
You can wear purple, share resources, and speak against abuse while respecting the privacy of the person who trusted you.
Help make the connection
At Riders Against Domestic Violence, we believe in being the bridge between survivors and resources.
Visit RADV.org to find survivor-support articles and resource information. RADV is a referral service. Survivors should contact the listed organizations directly to discuss available services and their individual needs.
You do not have to have every answer to help someone make that connection. Sometimes a caring response begins with, “Would you like me to sit with you while you look at your options?”
Let them tell you what kind of help they want.
If you are the one trying to speak
You do not need perfect words.
You can start with, “I need someone to listen,” or, “I don’t feel safe in my relationship.”
You deserve to be heard without being blamed. Abuse is not your fault. Your worth has not been taken away by what someone did to you.
In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support around the clock. Call 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit TheHotline.org. If your device may be monitored, use a safer device when possible.
Our day-three challenge
Today, practice a response that opens a door:
“I believe you. You matter. How can I support you?”
Share a resource. Listen with patience. Respect someone’s choices. Let your purple ribbon represent a willingness to care when the conversation becomes personal.
You survived. You matter. Keep going. One mile at a time.
We Are the Bridge.
Dave Beatty
Founder, Riders Against Domestic Violence
RADV.org
© 2026 Riders Against Domestic Violence (RADV)