Learning to Trust Yourself Again
There is a kind of doubt that can follow you long after a hurtful conversation ends.
It shows up when you start to make a decision and immediately question it. When you type a message, erase it, and start again. When something feels wrong, but you wonder whether you are being too sensitive.
When your words have been twisted, your concerns dismissed, or your choices constantly criticized, trusting yourself may no longer feel natural.
On Day 25 of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we want to make room for that part of the survivor’s journey: learning to believe that your voice deserves to be heard—even by you.
You do not have to be perfect to deserve respect.
Maybe someone made every disagreement about your judgment. Maybe they insisted they knew your intentions better than you did. Maybe apologies became something you offered just to bring a little peace into the room.
Over time, you may have started asking someone else to decide whether your feelings were reasonable.
But you do not need another person’s permission to acknowledge that something hurt.
You can make a mistake and still deserve kindness. You can forget something and still deserve patience. You can disagree with someone and still deserve safety.
Being human never makes abuse your fault.
Start with a choice that belongs to you.
Rebuilding trust in yourself does not have to begin with a life-changing decision.
It might begin with choosing what music you want to hear. Taking a few quiet minutes before answering a request. Admitting that you do not enjoy something you have spent years pretending to like.
It might sound like:
“I need time to think.”
“That made me uncomfortable.”
“I would like something different.”
You do not have to say those words out loud before it is safe. Sometimes the first step is simply allowing yourself to recognize them privately.
A small preference may seem unimportant to someone else. But when your choices have been controlled, recognizing what you want can mean something.
You are allowed to learn without condemning yourself.
Looking back can bring painful questions.
Why did I believe them?
Why did I give them another chance?
Why didn’t I know what to do?
You were living through the situation, with the information, responsibilities, hopes, and options you had at the time. Looking backward gives you a perspective you may not have had while trying to get through each day.
You can understand more now without treating your past self as the enemy.
The person you were then deserves compassion, too.
Support should leave room for your voice.
Someone who supports you can listen, offer information, and help you consider your options without taking over your decisions.
You deserve space to ask questions. To feel uncertain. To change your mind when you learn something new.
You also deserve support if you are still in the relationship, if you have returned, or if you are not ready to explain what comes next.
At RADV, being a bridge means helping you find resources and connections while respecting that this is your life. We do not have to hold the handlebars to help you find the road.
Today, give yourself one honest moment.
Ask yourself:
What do I need today—and can I acknowledge that need without criticizing myself for having it?
Your answer may be rest. Information. Company. Privacy. Someone who will listen without rushing you toward a decision.
You may not be able to meet that need immediately. Naming it still matters.
Trust can return quietly: through a preference you honor, a question you allow yourself to ask, or a moment when you stop dismissing your own experience.
You do not have to have every answer today.
Your voice still belongs to you. It deserves room.
You survived. You matter. Keep going. One mile at a time.
Riders Against Domestic Violence — We Are the Bridge.
Find survivor resources, support information, and more articles at RADV.org.
© 2026 Riders Against Domestic Violence (RADV)